In the “Defining Some Terms” page (which you can access through the drop-down menu on top), you’ll find that inceldom is referred to as “an ideology without pioneers”. This was to point out that there is no “Incel Manifesto”, or a historical figure that defines what an incel is. Of course, there are plenty of sexually frustrated man in the annals of history, but none of them could really capture the post-internet movement inceldom is.
That being said, it should be noted that important figures in the short history of the incel movement do exist. The most famous individual being the Islamist /r/incels moderator who posted vile content on Reddit up until the point he was banned- and I believe he still posts content on a private blog somewhere.
In any way, the point stands that an “incel” has no set definition. The definition of an incel depends on the incels themselves; if all incels suddenly decide to browse /biz/ and invest in crypto, the mainstream definition of an incel would change to include this.
So naturally, incels who fall slightly outside the mainstream definition one way or another will still hang on to their identity, because they’re not immediately considered “failed incels”. They’ll converge in subreddits like /r/incelswithouthate, trying to establish a community where they take “hate” out of the “hate + self-pity = incel” equation.
However, there are good reasons to think this is a faulty approach.
The claim here isn’t “they should go back to being hateful”; on the contrary, the claim is that they should proceed further than just eliminating “hate”.
Let’s stop and take a wider view from the point of view of an incel. We’re assuming this incel operates under logical conclusions.
You’re a man who is incredibly unattractive, and your personality is broken beyond repair- is it really logical to grief about this until the end of time? Or is it better to suck it up and move on to live life as is? We know, from history, that men can live without partners. Great men have lived without partners. Knowing this, it is absolutely against common sense to think men in the current age can’t life without the attention of 21st century women.
So why would people still keep grieving about their misfortune?
We can not psychologically analyse an incel as internet strangers, but to make a guess it seems to be problem of self confidence more than anything. Confidence is important, and this isn’t the argument that incels have heard hundreds of times already (i.e just be confident bro). The premise “You need to be confident” doesn’t follow with “because you’ll get pussy”. It’s “You need to be confident, because without confidence you are nothing”.
Now is a good time to hope readers of this blog enjoy Frank Sinatra.
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
From My Way https://youtu.be/onWf4_yl-pY?t=192
If you consider yourself an incel, you’ve already accepted your fate. It’s time for you to own up to this fact, and focus on building your own identity rather than adopting a social tag and doing what everyone else with this tag is doing. Be proud of yourself because of who you are. You’ve survived this long despite all the handicaps you’ve acquired through the genetic lottery, and there’s no point in standing still wishing you hadn’t.
Keep in mind that so far we’ve been talking about mentality. This blog isn’t suggesting that you should get up from your computer and start hitting the gym (of course, you could do that). It’s suggesting that it’s time to change how you look at life.
So how does a man “suck it up” and overcome his emotions? There are many methods, and it all boils down to the fact that you are what you consume. If an incel engulfs himself in romantic anime and creepshots of Chad, he will never stop thinking about the life he never had. So in order to change how you think, you must change what you do in your PC time.
Start watching movies about healthy masculinity; men making the right decisions in the right time. Or find an aesthetic you may enjoy that doesn’t make you wish you were someone else. Look for the goodness within the material world. Of course, this will be hard if you’ve dug yourself into some political trench; those who have their lenses tinted by extremist politics should wait for another post on such issues as simply changing your what you consume may not be enough.
Unfortunately there won’t be a nicely curated suggestion list at this time. People find different values in different content. Personal experience dictates this post to mention video games with themes of heroism (and maybe even sacrifice); Halo Reach and LA Noire come to mind. As for music, old timey music never fails (anything from late 70s down to late 50s) as these songs always praised something higher, whether it be peace, love, friendship, or masculinity in general. And for movies, classics like Fight Club or Blade Runner (both versions) are never bad choices.
And finally for forums; it’s probably one of the best things you can do to leave behind any “virgin forum” you’re part of. /r9k/, braincels, incelsme, and similar forums break a man’s spirit down to nothing. If you must partake in online discussions, go to new places. /mu/ & /tv/ to find better alternatives to what you listen/watch to, or if you play a highly competitive game you can visit their subreddits to see what they’re up to. If you must visit a virgin forum, wizchan is probably the best alternative as the /wiz/ board generates good discussion, and the overall speed of the chan is slow so you’ll find that you spend less time there compared to other forums.
With time, you may find that this new mindset may slowly push you out of your NEET life. Or in the case of students/wagecucks, it may lighten the load of depression that you’ve been carrying for so long.
This post has not been properly proof-read yet.